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Mikey Snot Is Great
Dear Cyber Pimp...

June 14, 2006, Buzz Fugazi


More adventures in MySpace. I have 6 or 7 near naked women in my inbox wanting to friend me. Some might assume they are stupid bitches who can't read, but that's not my guess. My guess is their images are being used by a Cyber Pimp.

Instead of reporting it to Darth Tom, I'm just going to say this. I am all over the City of Chicago and the 7 County spread of Greater Chicagoland. Because this pimp is trying to solicit me in every territory where I log on, Cyber Pimp has violated the turf of several local crime outfits. I'm just want to ask that Pimp... dude, have you paid off all of them? If you have back, fine, hey, no problem, keep sending me pictures of naked girls. If you are just a bored CIA drone... hey, I'm glad you're checking my e-mail while Iran develops the bomb. Do your thing.

But also, the City of Chicago might want to get its cut. Y'see, Cyber Pimp, or Cyber whatever... the City is famous for figuring out ways to collect its juice. You just made the list. As soon as Stroger gets out of coma, expect a visit. Even if he dies, expect a visit.