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Mikey Snot Is Great
Iraq Now!

Friday, July 1, 2005, Buzz Fugazi

Old punk rockers responsible for instability in Iraq...Ask not what George W. Bush does for your country, ask what your country can do for George W. Bush (or burn in hell!)...

It's not just Mikey and I who unwittingly deprive the long-suffering Iraqi people of a funtioning democracy. The liberal press and the trapped at 40% liberal enclave may contribute sons, daughters, and some portion of 360 billion defense dollars, but not much more, except tossing negative vibes. Maybe it's time we stop Amnesty International, Greenpeace, and Senator Dick Durbin from owning the major networks. If the people who stuff their pockets in the defense industry had a fair say in what goes on in this country, we wouldn't have all these cry-baby liberals preventing total victory.

The left is way out of style. The Red Scare of 1986 is over, comrades. Choose a fundamentalist religion and prepare for Armageddon. Quit whining about fringe special interests like those oxygen breathing freaks demanding cleaner air. Just because the President thinks more pollution is a Clean Skies Initiative is no reason for us to call him an insane liar. Name calling makes us look bad. Americans understand the President's hostile space alien attitude about the environment is not a hint that he breathes toxic fumes to survive, but rather, a sign of his deep religious faith. Be grateful for mercury in child vaccines and in your drinking water. It is a gift from Culture of Life, Inc.

If the President makes his religious faith a political issue, we have no reason to wonder if he's a big fucking liar about that, too. It's important we learned the truth about John Kerry: his war service was just a big photo-op to get him elected. It was all media manipulation funded by SEIU and George Soros.

There is no media manipulation going on in Iraq. Photo-op capers of the Bush Administration are fair and balanced.

It's time for the rest of us to ask: What can I do to help the more fortunate? What can I do to win the War Against Terrorism without putting more of a burden on the people who are getting rich off of it? Ask yourself: do I need to spend the day with my children? You could be volunteering on an oil barge instead. Family values means spending your time promoting the policies that make the world a better place. Positive thinking is the best way to start. That's why my family vacation will be at a religious retreat in Iraq.