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Mikey Snot Is Great
Cult of the Dork

Saturday, July 16, 2005, Buzz Fugazi


A combination of street smarts and a respectable grip of political history, political philosophy, social history, social philosophy, baseball, poetry in open forms, and my personal soap opera in serial form at midday over coffee feels sophisticated. I do not often feel like a rube. Coming into Manhattan from Montclair on a bus to the Port Authority gave me a sense of it. Seeing the only US skyline that dwarfs the facade of Chicago gave me the only idea I could ever have about what it must be like to come from Bumbleburg and stumble into the Skyscraping Go-Devil Chicago and see the sights for the first time. I've been driving into it my entire life and it still stuns me like I'm seeing it through my child's eye always. What must it be like to blow into it at age 29 and see it for the first time, like me entering Manhattan?

On my cyber-flirt's homepage I feel like a rube. I checked out her other cyber friends, like Evil Willow and Brooklyn Swinger drummer guy... I'm so used to folks trying to claw their way out of poverty, psychic devastation, and dreary introspective novels written by undergraduate philosophy burnouts trying to make a quick buck... it's a little odd to visit the home pages of Modern Lovers Just Want To Have Fun. Part of me is filled with envy. Why does the Emir of Kuwait get a harem? Why the House of Saud? Why studboy bandmembers? Why not the winner of the Woody Allen pre-StepdaughterLove persona award? I'm the only absolutely true mix of DeNiro and Allen. Where is my harem? Again... Where is my harem? Don't tell me I have to move to Utah. I refuse to do it. I pride myself as being a regular Chicago guy, but get embarassed sometimes by the limitations.